


When One Time They Did

by Rytherlover



Category: South Park
Genre: 5+1 Things, Kinda rushed but I think its adorbs, M/M, Not really sure what to tag tbh, Token and Clyde don't wanna hear Creek having snex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:47:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23826319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rytherlover/pseuds/Rytherlover
Summary: 5 times people thought Tweek and Craig were having sex and one time they were.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 13
Kudos: 354





	When One Time They Did

1.

Clyde texted the couple 20 minutes ago to see if they wanted to hang out and they agreed saying that the front door would be unlocked and Clyde could let himself in.

So here the brunette was 20 minutes later walking into the Tucker residence to come play video games and eat pizza. He walked in the unlocked front door letting out a loud "Hello!"

He expected the blonde and the noirette to come out from wherever they were and come greet him so they could start hanging out, but instead he was met back with silence. Clyde stood a little dumbfounded for a minute, they did say that they were here when he texted them, right?

Clyde checked his phone confirming that the couple said they would be here and let out a confused huff of air sounding like a frustrated horse. The brunette walked upstairs checking Craig's room top to bottom for them. Even going as far as to check under the bed and in the closet to see if the couple was hiding to try and scare him. They had done it before, so the thought that they would do it now wouldn't surprise Clyde. He then walked back downstairs in his search for the couple.

Clyde finally went into the kitchen to take a searching break, he opened the fridge looking around for something good before he caught sight of a half empty chocolate milk bottle. His eyes lit up like a child's on Christmas. The brunette snatched the brown milk and sniffed it before putting his mouth to the rim, chugging the sweet nectar.

While he was drinking, he heard a faint and small rhythmic pounding sound coming from the garage that was next to the kitchen. Clyde withdrew the bottle from his mouth and slowly walked closer to the garage door, the noises coming from it getting louder the closer he got. There were now sounds of heavy breathing along with the continuous pounding that made him first notice the garage.

Clyde pressed his ear to the door while taking another drink of chocolate milk from the bottle he found. When he pressed his ear to the door he immediately regretted his decision because of what he heard.

"Ah Tweek I don't think I can last any longer-oh fuck" Craig said his breath heavy and deep.

Tweek was letting out soft grunts "Ah don't stop. Faster! So close."

Clyde's eyes widened and spit out all the milk in his mouth feeling so completely grossed out at the fact he just heard Tweek and Craig getting it on. The brunette was just about to run out the house and act like this never happened when he thought of something. Clyde then smirked knowing he would have blackmail on the couple for the next thousands years if he caught them so he stood up straight and slammed the door open.

"Caught you fuckers red handed!"

Craig was in a plank position doing mountain climbers when he finally collapsed out of exhaustion and shock from Clyde coming in unexpectedly. Tweek was doing crunches when Clyde came in and stopped as well, falling back on the floor breathing deeply.

"What the fuck are you guys doing?" Clyde said even more confused and disturbed than he was before.

Tweek sat up begrudgingly first. "W-We were working out" The blonde grabbed two water bottles from next to him and tried to hand one to Craig, but the boy was still face down on the floor looking dead from the activity. So Tweek just rolled it in his direction.

"You weren't having sex?" Clyde said sounding as smart as ever.

Tweek, despite the pink on his cheeks from working out, flushed a deeper shade of red and Craig who was laying dead on the floor pushed himself off of it to look at Clyde. Both of the flustered boys said a defiant "NO" at the same time looking at Clyde like he had grown a second head.

Clyde looked at the two skeptically, but also feeling embarrassed. "T-Then why did you say faster to Craig? An-And" he put up air quotes "So close"

Tweek rolled his eyes grabbing his phone and showing Clyde a timer for one minute "We were close to being finished with the set and he started going slow on his reps."

Craig interjected "I was not going slow. I lost my footing"

Tweek just flicked at Craig's arms shaking his head at the noirette.

Clyde could only look at them in disdain. "I can't believe I came in here thinking you guys were having sex"

"Hold on" Craig said finally sitting up properly "Is that my fucking chocolate milk?"

2.

Thomas Tucker was a well respected man who loved his life and his family. He especially loved his son Craig, always making sure to support him and his gay relationship with his boyfriend Tweek. That is he was feeling all the love and support til he stood in the hallway to the sitting room listening in on his son and his boyfriend having a very unplatonic exchange.

"Jesus Tweek! You're so tight!" Craig said almost groaning.

Tweek only let out soft sighs swooning as he spoke. "Ah Craig. That's so good"

Mr. Tucker tried his best to think of other things these teens would be doing other than intercourse right now. Surely they wouldn't do it in such a public place such as the family area where anyone could just walk in.

"I'll loosen you right up" Craig said this, but this time his voice was lower and sounded more provocative making the alarm bells in Thomas' head go off.

"No STDs are gonna be exchanged in my house!" Mr. Tucker said finally rounding the corner of the hallway to see his son and his boyfriend sitting on the couch fully clothed. The only actual contact the two teens had was Craig's hands on Tweek's shoulders.

Thomas stared at the innocent teens in shock, how were they not having sex right now?

"I c-can assure you Sir that I don't have any S-STDs" Tweek said nervously to Mr. Tucker.

Craig glared up at his dad for ruining their nice and nonsexual moment. "And neither do I, Dad" The word dad full of venom and anger.

Thomas gave a weak smile to the teens "Right! You know I was just saying that as a friendly reminder. You know how Smokey the Bear is like 'Only you can stop forest fires'." Thomas laughed nervously "Same thing, but 'Only I can stop the spread of STDs'"

Craig just glared up at his dad from the couch looking very unamused while Tweek sat looking mostly scared at the man, but that was usual. Mr. Tucker usually made the blonde a little nervous.

"Ya know what?" Thomas then started patting down his pockets "I think I forgot my wallet somewhere. I'm gonna go look for it. You guys have fun"

Thomas then took off in a hurry leaving the teens alone.

Tweek took a breath of relief "That was w-weird"

Craig shrugged "He's weird"

3.

Token had invited over some of the guys for a classic Saturday hangout just to watch the game and screw around a bit. You know just cool guy stuff. A some point during the evening Tweek and Craig had disappeared from the large group and he couldn't seem to place them any where around the house.

Token who was just curious as to where they had gotten off to and not really thinking anything of their disappearances went upstairs to check for them. As he walked up the stairs he heard a very sharp, but unmistakable sound of a loud moan. The boy felt himself heat up, the lewd sound making him feel embarrassed just to hear it. He gave a quick sweep around all of the second floor rooms to check to see where the noise could come from, well all the rooms except his own.

Then it happened again, coming straight from his room, the moan. This time it sounded more strained like the person was in pain almost.

Token took a cautious couple steps towards his room, not wanting to know what was happening behind the closed door.

"AH! Craig that's too much!"

Token took a sharp step back, his back straightening and fists clenching. "Are you serious?" Token asked himself not fully believing that his friends might be doing it in his room, his own god damn room.

"Come on Tweek you can take it"

Token almost gagged at the image he was getting in his head and immediately rushed to his rooms door handle pushing the door open with his eyes closed too grossed out to wanna see what was happening.

"Alright! You guys can have sex, but just NOT IN MY ROOM!"

Then silence. No apologizing. No scrambling noises of putting on clothes. Just _silence_.

"Umm...No sex here" Craig said raising a brow.

Token peeked his eye open and saw that no sex was happening. Quite the opposite actually. Tweek's feet were pressed against Craig's making a circle with their legs and the couples hands were interlocked pulling Tweek towards Craig. It was almost impressive how far stretched Tweek was over to Craig.

"Th-Then what are you guys d-doing?" Token asked the burning feeling of a blush not leaving his face.

Craig let go of Tweek's hands and picked up the book that Token didn't notice before in between the two teens. "We were trying out the yoga we found in this book you have." Craig then held up the page they were on and saw that the two had perfectly executed the pose. "Didn't realize it was Kamasutra."

Tweek let out a small laugh at the joke, but Token just stared at the book then the couple then kept on going back and forth. He ended up just shaking his head and calling it a day.

"Just get the heck out of my room."

4.

Helen Tweak was happily cleaning the house when she heard a small commotion happen on the floor above her. Like someone had sprung onto the bed and started bouncing around on it. The sound caused Helen to stop her dusting and set down her swiffer.

She waited a moment more to see if the noise was anomaly or if she is hearing these noises coming from what seems her son's room that was currently holding him and his boyfriend.

Then it happened again. A loud thud on the floor this time then more bouncing on the bed.

She felt her eyes widen before she started to walk up the step concerned that one of the boy's may hurt themselves in their roughhousing. As she got closer to the door she heard a loud shout.

"AH! Craig! Right there!" followed by more bouncing.

Mrs. Tweak blushed a bit as the implication of what was happening in the room ran through her mind. She then realized she never gave them the talk about safe sex. Did Richard? That stuff was important! Tweek and Craig probably didn't have anything, but everyone should practice safe sex even if they knew they didn't have anything.

Then she thought again giving another listen, maybe they weren't having sex...

"Tweek! I'm gonna-"

Mrs. Tweak heard this and immediately rushed to the room not wanting Craig to finish that sentence or what he was doing if she wasn't sure about them being safe.

"I just want to know if you guys are using a condom!" Mrs. Tweak said as she swung the door open to Tweek's room.

"-get it" Craig finished. He was holding up a shoe in the air while looking confused at Mrs. Tweak. A big spider that was on the wall saw it's chance to escape and crawled away from the awkward situation.

Tweek who was slightly jumping on the bed out of fear stopped his movement to look at his mom in pure horror.

"Oh you aren't partaking in anal, I see." Mrs. Tweak said smiling and clasping her hands together. 

Craig dropped the shoe in his hand and his mouth hung open looking at the woman as she walked out the room.

"Dinner's in an hour by the way boys."

Both boys then looked at each other in shock then back at the door way.

"That's how she would deal with it if we were doing it?" Craig asked still astounded.

"I d-don't kno-WAIT!” Tweek said jumping off the bed into Craig's arms for safety. “Where did the spider go?!". 

Craig groaned. "Damn it! It got away!"

5.

It was a classic Friday night with the boy's. Jimmy, Clyde, Token, Tweek and Craig all got together for a sleepover where they could order food and talk bro shit. The boys ended up ordering pizza (big shock) and playing video games for most of the night, at one point they put on a movie, but no one paid attention to it. Deciding it was late enough to finally hit the sack all the boys retired for the night and went off to different places of the house to sleep. Jimmy's house had a guest room in the basement and a pull out bed in the living room.

The couple took the guest room while the other boys fought over the pull out bed. While the other boy's were fighting over their sleeping areas Jimmy halted them hearing a strange noise.

"G-G-Guy's! You hear that?"

Token and Clyde stop their bickering to listen and they hear what Jimmy must have been talking about. It was moaning... and it was coming from the basement.

"Oh-oh-oh my god!" Jimmy said "They-they-they're having sex!"

Token and Clyde looked at each other then at Jimmy. "I mean they kinda just sound like that sometimes" Clyde said a memory that is not being shared in his mind.

Token nodded in agreement "Yeah. I don't think they realize it."

"B-B-But guys-"

Clyde stopped him "I don't wanna go through catching them doing something couple-y and normal again"

Token scratched the back of his neck in compliance. "Yeah their closeness makes me feel depress-"

"Ah! Yes! Craig, please don't stop!"

All the boys stopped talking at the sudden shout and seemed to think that the debate they were having was leaning more towards the side of the two boys downstairs getting it on.

"I mean t-t-t-try and tell me that not s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-"

Clyde covered Jimmy's mouth "Eh we get it! Let's go stop them already so I don't have to hear Tweek anymore.”

All three boy's slowly started moving down the basement stairs and towards the guest room where the lewd noises were coming from.

"Craig I can't stand it when you do that." Tweek said from behind the closed door sounding breathless.

Clyde and Token then pushed Jimmy forward towards the door causing him to stumble a bit with his crutches and glare at the other two boys. The boys gave apologetic looks, but still motioned the other to go on and see what's happening behind the door.

Jimmy sighed and opened the door "Y-Y-Y-Y-Y'all fuckin'?"

Tweek, who's head was in Craig's lap, looked at Jimmy with a small blush on his cheeks while Craig looked at him with a single quirked brow and a single q-tip in his hand. Craig made a point of sticking the q-tip into Tweek's ear and twisting it around the canal gently. The blonde let out a soft noise that made everyone watching the scene blush except for Craig.

"Oh" Jimmy said just closing his mouth and taking in the scene. The other boy's had also poked their heads in just looking at the awkward scene in silence.

"Told you" Clyde said before walking away. Token and Jimmy then followed.

Craig withdrew the q-tip from Tweek's ear and then smirked down at the blonde in his lap "You see what happens when you have me do it for you?"

Tweek rolled his eyes "Oh shut up. When I pop your pimple's for you, you whine like a bitch."

Craig then started to chase Tweek around with the dirty q-tip like he did earlier. Tweek scurried away from his boyfriend and threw a pillow at him "I told you I can't stand it when you do that!"

+1

Craig had invited Tweek over for a sleep over at his house away from everyone else the next night so they could hang out for once without someone coming in and accusing them of things they weren't doing.

The boys had made their own dinner pretending to have a cooking show as they made ramen for themselves. Then they indulged in Tweek's famous cupcakes, despite the fact they looked like crap because the boys were screwing around the whole time they were decorating. Finally they wrapped up their evening by watching a movie, the movie wasn't exactly interesting and Craig noticed Tweek falling asleep against him and paused the movie.

"You wanna go to bed?"

Tweek looked up at Craig with sleepy eyes and nodded cuddling himself closer to the arm he was sleeping against. Craig smiled down at the image and put one arm under Tweek's legs and another around the blonde's waist. Then he gently hoisted Tweek up against himself and slowly walked them upstairs.

Craig tried to place down the blonde on his bed gently, but he ended up tripping and completely dropped Tweek on the bed alerting the previously asleep boy awake. Craig fell right on top of Tweek his arms caging Tweek's head and his knee landing between Tweek's thighs. The smaller boy looked up at Craig with big eyes before he started laughing, the noirette joined in on the laughter and rolled to the side of the blonde.

Tweek put a hand to Craig mouth "Don't be too loud or people will think we're having-" Tweek raised his octave to sound more breathy and seductive " _SEX_ "

Craig started laughing harder with the blonde then let out a fake animalistic growl. "Cause we do that so often" Sarcasm dripping from his voice, Craig turned on his side to face Tweek, his own laughter silencing a bit.

Tweek let out another fake moan as he turned to Craig. "Oh yes!" Tweek put his hands on Craig's chest "Because we're so _dirty._ "

Craig smirked at his blonde, the laughter slightly dying down as he grabbed onto the side of Tweek’s thigh. "And so horny" His voice was thick and husky when he spoke, a tone Tweek rarely heard.

Tweek gripped Craig's tee and pulled his closer this noses just barely touching. "So _very._ " The words had lost their hints of joking in them as the blonde spoke. Instead the words had an infliction of desperation to them, like he was 'so very'.

Craig let out a loud obnoxious grunt. The hand on Tweek's leg going under his knee to pull the leg up higher onto Craig's side, resulting in the blonde being pressed closer to the front of him. The noirette's laughter also seemed to fade away as they progressed to touch each other and make these "fake" noises. "So very."

Tweek's hands wandered from his chest all the way up into Craig's hair, making residence in the roots of the mane. Craig moves his hand on Tweek's knee to his hip clutching it roughly before slightly moving up, going under the blonde's shirt to touch more uncharted skin. Their breathing was hot and heavy, their mouths were so close together and just barely brushing against each other as they 'messed around'. Their hands were roaming different parts of their bodies getting the other even more worked up, they started a slow grind of their hips as they explored closer to themselves. The straw that broke the camels back was when Tweek let out a real genuine moan at the feeling of Craig's thumb swiping over his nipple combined with the feeling of their hips pressing against one another.

"Oh Tweek!”

"C-Craig!"

The two met together in a mash of mouths and tongues not bothering to care about air or any of their noises. The two kissed ferociously, grabbing at each other's clothes trying their best to get off anything separating them. Craig literally ripped Tweek's shirt off of him while Tweek pulled and yanked on his hair every couple seconds, trying his best to ground himself in the pleasure he was feeling. Craig started to kiss down the blonde's body. 

Thomas and Laura sat in their bed watching TV and reading respectively when they heard a faint pounding and creaking noises of a bed from far away. Then Laura heard moans and groans coming from the other room. "Oh dear!" she started to get up to go stop whatever was happening in her sons room, but was stopped by her husband.

"Don't bother Laura. They just sound like that sometimes."

"C-Craig! Harder!"

"Tweek you _are_ really tight!"

Laura looked incredulously at her husband then motioned her hand to the direction the noises were coming from. "Thomas they are definitely having sex right now!"

"Trust me. I even talked with Tweek's mom, they just sound like that.” Thomas said shrugging.” She walked in hearing the same thing, bed creaking noises and shouting. Turns out it was just a spider freaking the boys out."

"Hmm fine." Laura said. "Turn up the TV. I don't wanna hear whatever it is they're doing."


End file.
